you can't excell if you are constantly dealing with abuse, I've lost my gift of giving off the holy ghost,

you can't excell if you are constantly
dealing with abuse, I've lost my gift
of giving off the holy ghost, I was
abused too much in the mental health
system of CDN to give off the spirit
like I used to,

unless you have been baptized by
the fire of the holy ghost you have
nothing to give off, only those who
have the spirit have it to give out,
you can't culture it in a petri dish, it
is like an animal you can't tame it
or box it up,

the spirit is like a person & if you
don't treat it properly you'll either
never get it or it will leave you, if
you want the holy ghost you have
to treat it like something that can
 leave you any day, all it takes is
one or two bad decisions & it will
leave you,

I've known others who had or used
to have it, but all of them lost it due
to jealousy gossiping threatening
people for no reason other than
spite, it is very easy to lose this spirit
& once it leaves you can never get
it back, unless you treat it like it is
the only thing in your life like falling
in love with a woman you'll never
have it, you can't put it in a box &
pull it out once in a while to use it's
gifts of power, as soon as you put it
away to use it's powers of gift
another day you will lose it,

you can't put it in your pocket & pull
it out once in a while for it's gifts of
power, if you try that it will walk,

the holy ghost isn't just a thing, it is
a person or like an animal, it is very
gentle & if you treat it unworthy it
will leave, it's not just a case of
being in the zone, it is like a parasite
or symbiote that enhances you & if
you poison it by treating it with
disrespect it will leave, yep it's very
much like a parasite or symbiote that
thrives off of attention, & catering to,
if you don't feed it or if you think you
can control it to get whatever jealous
or petty things done using the holy
ghost it will leave,

if you think you can use the holy ghost
as a military weapon or as a piece
of hardware to do the things you
jealously want done it will leave,
you can't control it or think you
can pick it up whenever you want
to use like a screwdriver or wrench
cuz it will walk, if you wanted to use
it to make money or as a weapon
like it were a tool you will lose it,
& once you lose it once you'll never
get it back, your damnation is secure,